Ike, JFK, and Goliath

BLOG: Ike Turner speaks nothing but the truth. Usually from his fists, but always the truth. It Comes in Pints?

BLOG: Who says commercializing the past is purely an American art form? American in Dusseldorf)

BLOG: Pictured here is Goliath, the Pacific Heights robot, who, apparently, is hung. San Francisco Daily Photo

Scalia, Britney, and Joy Division (three things you normally find together)

BLOG: A suitably facetious explanation of the unsuitably overexposed Scalia chin-flipping controversy. Slate’s Jurisprudence column by Dahlia Lithwick

BLOG: What? You say you’ve never seen Britney on all fours? News you could lose

VIDEO: You probably hate good music. So you’d probably hate this amazing live clip of Joy Division performing “Transmission”. You Tube

Marital woes, unhelpful spouses and holistic healing

VIDEO: Girls, you could’ve had James Wilson. You could have had a man that when denied sex by his wife, decided to not only alert a sleepy nation with a new blog on the matter, but alert the local media types to his blog and his plight. You could have had him, but you snooze, you lose. Husband on Strike (thanks, Fark)

BLOG: Never assume your wife's sudden appreciation of sports is from the goodness of her own heart. Fresh Pepper (see second item, dated Wednesday, March 29, 2006)

BLOG: The health care argument you rarely hear about: Idiot patients and ‘holistic healing’. The Blog That Ate Manhattan

Movie timelines, out-of-town guests, and an animated farting pig

BLOG: Brought to you by a guy with a LOT of time on his hands. Paul Kerensa (thanks, Boing Boing)

BLOG: A pain to which every NYer can relate, rendered here in Drunk-o-Vision. The Company Bitch

VIDEO: I’m sorry, Did you say ‘Belgian Farting Pig’? Because we have one of those. (Bonus points if you can pick out a storyline). Best Funny Videos

VD, shutting up, breast exams, and horny unicorns

VIDEO: This is a war story. It could involve anyone in the world. Only it happens to involve Walt Disney Productions’ animated Venereal Disease Education film from 1973. Google Video (courtesy, Boing Boing)

BLOG: Frank McCourt needs to shut the fuck up. Logged Hours (thanks, Gawker)

VIDEO: Possibly the worst breast exam commercial ever. Funny Commercials

VIDEO: The real life sex habits of unicorns (as dirty, disgusting and NSFW as you hoped it would be). Chris Mullins (thanks, Anonymous Midwestern Girl)

Monty Python, smelly barnyard animals and Playboy

VIDEO: Lost Monty Python interview from 1975, w/ Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, and Graham Chapman. Hopefully they get a distributer for their film “Holy Grail” something. Sounds funny. The Sound of Young America (courtesy, Boing Boing)

BLOG: Cassanova Frankenstein is a newborn calf who smells like shit. However, he’s cute, so he shall remain part of the living. I Fling Poo.

BLOG: These are classic cartoons from Playboy. Which makes them art. So shut up. ASIFA-Hollywood Animation Archive Project blog

Adios

I start a new site and then immediately go on vacation for a week. Sorry.

Expect new posts on Monday, March 27.

Yours,
John

Wisdom, gangs, more wisdom and a cunt

The fruitcake lady tells it like it is. dorks.com (thanks, Roston)

How else is she supposed to follow the Sopranos? The Tomato Diaries (courtesy Gawker)

Without the Internet, you’d have never met this man, or his videos or heard the F-word in so many wonderful, colorful ways. Note: Click ‘Videos’ and start with ‘Bat Day’ The Kid from Brooklyln (courtesy Gawker)

This cunt made the Baltimore Sun. The Third Floor: The City Paper Blog (courtesy Regret the Error)

Cool pics, omens, and porn

Sometimes things are just cool and need no description. ASIFA Hollywood Animation Archive Project Blog

If father knows best, then father starred in "The Dead Zone". defective yeti

Ladies, this is proof positive that we men can’t help it. We have to pay for porn. It’s in our blood.The Assimilated Negro

Death, comedy and holidays

R.I.P. either Jean or Maureen Stapleton. Whichever one just died. And may have been Edith Bunker in "All of the Family" (or possibly not). Dealing in Subterfuges

One-liners give life meaning and show your friends their place. Anonymous Midwester Girl

It’s almost over, but don’t forget to celebrate Steak and a Blowjob Day! Circle V

A classmate of the majority pigeon leader

Pigeons don’t have pockets; they don’t have wallets; and they don’t use money. So, more than likely, when you see one riding the subway, he’s probably a fare jumper. Blogging: It’s cheaper than Zoloft

Bill Frist’s only wish in life was to be human. Sharon Stone - S = Me

Forget Nick and Jessica. Forget Tom and Katie. Forget all the Hollywood celebrity couples who beard one another on a daily basis. The real queston is … what happened to the classmates.com couple? dude.man.phat

Natalie, Monkeys, and Log

Natalie Portman wants to fuck all night. Yes, you heard me. Natalie Portman. She wants to fuck you and your friends and get high and drink. Devil Ducky

Some new car options are not worth the money. The trunk monkey, however, is definitely worth the money. Google Video

Ren & Stimpy creator John Kricfalusi has a blog, w/ lots of cool R&S-like drawings. It’s better than bad: It’s good. All Kinds of Stuff

Jack, DIY, toilet rolls & Dwyer

I love people with free time. I love old jokes made new again. I love this clip. Funny Commercials

Balls, sheer balls: 100 parking tickets and yet no one noticed the DIY motor vehicle license. Tote Bags and Fanny Packs

Toilet humor still makes me laugh. Toilet roll humor, on the other hand … The Name Game

If you know Dwyer, let him know that he rocks. And let him know about Flickr: The Video Screenhead

Garfield, Cal, and Girlfriends

Garfield was never a very funny cartoon. But remove his thought bubbles – along with those of Odie – and suddenly Jon, his owner becomes a psychotic loner. Dark, but incredibly funny. Innamorato Della Musica

We lost Vietnam due to the same guerilla tactics practiced by Cal’s fans against USC during the men’s hoops season finale. Well, not the exact same reason. You be the judge. Victoria, not Victorious

Girlfriends will kill the life that is inside of you. Afraid of the Dark

Welcome

Welcome to Candy in a Barrel: Your one-stop shop for some of the best blog posts (and other crazy crap) you might not have otherwise read.

This site is what the techy people of the world would call an aggregator and what most everyone else would call Fark for blogs. Either way, its mission is to highlight writers and photographers who would otherwise toil in obscurity, wondering whether 10 unique visitors a week is worth an hour of their time a day.

I hunt for most of these writers on my own. However, believe you me, suggestions will never go out of style. If you know of a blog I should highlight, then please forward it to the email address listed above. Even if you want to toot your own horn, then please blast away. I have no problem with a little self-promotion: It’s false humility that is our enemy.

I can’t promise I will link to every person’s blog (this ain’t the Yellow Pages, after all). But if you regularly update and you’ve been blogging for a while now (say six months), then you’re a leg up on a lot of people. (And 'funny', I always say, breaks all the rules.)

By the way, if you're wondering about the source for the name for this site, it's from an off-the-cuff comment by Jarad K., a former roommate, while playing a video game. With a swaggering sense of self-satisfaction, but not quite full command of Metaphor, he bragged that killing the enemies in this game was "like shooting candy in a barrel." And when I needed a name for this site, it seemed the only appropriate choice.

Well, that’s about it, really. Enjoy the site. And please send those suggestions if you’ve got them.

Yours,
John